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#Smallbiz Wrap: Silly Web Trends

Shh. You hear that? Yep. It’s Carol of the Bells. And there’s Little Drummer Boy. And then some other yuletide songs that are way worse than those two. That’s right, friends, it’s December (tomorrow), which means we’ve all survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday and that we’re likely making Christmas plans that involve all manner of family members and chotchkies and honeyed hams. ‘Tis the season.

But just because another year is winding down doesn’t mean small business owners are taking December off. As pretty much any entrepreneur would tell you, owning a business means you don’t really take time off (though, seriously: put your laptop away at the beach. That’s just depressing).

And since you’re not taking December off, neither are we. Here’s our weekly dose of business stories presented as corny jokes that even I didn’t laugh at.

Should you ask questions or give advice? Please advise.

20 silly web trends that (God willing) will go the way of the buffalo in 2013. I’ll agree with most of these, just so long as we can bring back frames and websites that automatically play MIDI music at ear-splitting volumes.

Do you want your business to grow big or stay small? There are some disadvantages either way, if I remember my Gulliver’s Travels correctly.

Convert more customers with psychology. All of your brains are our brains.

How long do people wait for video to load online? Two seconds. Who says the internet is making us more impatient? Oh right. Yeah. Pretty much everyone says that.

Here’s why people share (or don’t share) your content. Basically: because it makes the sharer seem cool. Or smart. Or funny. Or like they smell of lilacs and wisteria.

Speaking of sharing (or not sharing) your content: forget social buttons. Most of us still share with copy and paste.

6 ways to improve your churn rate, which is something you’ll probably click if you know what that is.

The bad news: less people are reading your Facebook posts. The good news: they’re twice as engaged.

The lowest prices aren’t online. They’re actually in stores. Also, up is down and red is yellow.

A weekly reminder to watch what you tweet. Because getting sued for libel is no fun. Presumably. Dunno. Never tried it myself.

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