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You can choose anyone that is legally able to care for your children. It does not have to be a family member. If you do not appoint a guardian in your Will, the state will decide who cares for your children.
After you choose a few candidates, discuss their duties with them to see if it is something they'd want to agree to. You want to pick those who are not only capable but willing.
Assets held in a Living Trust can be distributed more quickly than a Will. If you can afford to fund a Trust it can be used to provide for your children until the rest of your assets and insurance payments are released.
An inheritance tax is a state tax paid by the one who receives money or property from a deceased person. Most states no longer charge this tax. An inheritance tax differs from an estate tax. An estate tax is taken from an entire estate before assets are allocated. Not all estates have to pay an estate tax since the threshold is rather high. The 2017 federal exemption level was for estate taxes was $5.49 million. The federal inheritance tax lower threshold for 2018 is $5.6 million. Roughly only two percent of estates are obligated to pay these taxes.