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Don’t Leave Unfinished Business – Make Your Will Today!

It’s “Make a Will Month” here at Rocket Lawyer, and since “where there’s a will, there’s a way,” we are supplying you with a way to make a will – for free! But where there’s a will, there’s also a “why.” For most folks that’s to make sure their assets and affairs and wishes are acted upon after they shed their mortal coil, but in New Orleans, where I am right now, being dead doesn’t seem to stop a lot of souls from taking matters into their own, um, “hands.”

At least that’s the impression you get from the myriad of tours centered around the eerie after-life. There are haunted house tours, ghost tours, phantom tours, zombie tours, cemetery tours and vampire tours, although technically the latter group is “undead.” Not only do the deceased have unfinished business, they are big business. One ghost tour exclaims: “Bring the camera! Some 90 percent of our tour participants capture paranormal activity in their photos!” a truly astounding claim, considering that scientists using infinitely more sophisticated and sensitive instruments than phone cams have never recorded a single instance of such!

Another brochure touts that the tomb of Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau is the second most visited tomb in the country, probably a self-fulfilling claim on account of several tours visiting it daily. Why is New Orleans the site of so much postmortem movement? I’m not sure, but you gotta figure that the fact that the city buries its dead above ground makes it much easier to dig yourself out of a grave. Especially considering your drastically weakened state.

What’s this have to do with wills? Well, clearly in The Big Easy you want to pay extra attention when making out your will, because you don’t want to make enemies of anybody – even the deceased – by omitting them. They will come after you with a vengeance. Spirits return to haunt, spook, scare, stalk, bite, maim, drink your blood, render your limbs asunder, work as consultants on The Walking Dead, and serve as speculation for CNN anchors as to the fate of missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 (one anchor uttered the phrase “zombie plane.”) The risen very rarely come back to “help.” Clearly something is severely ticking these corpses off.

(Astute readers will note that the preceding premise doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, as it’s the deceased whose will is read, and the beneficiaries, as well as the overlooked, who are still alive. Then again, we’re talking about people who believe in zombies and vampires, so are they going to reason this all the way through? I think not.)

Besides, who’s to say that spirits, hanging around with way too much time on their incorporeal hands, can’t sneak a glance at your will ahead of time and see that you never intended to leave them anything? Or their well-deserving heirs? All I’m saying is, maybe if you live in New Orleans, you cover all your bases.

Ghosts and phantoms aside, I want to stress that you really shouldn’t wait till you’ve passed away to spend time in New Orleans. I especially recommend coming for the annual four day French Quarter Festival in April (just concluded for 2014), which features 20 stages of home-grown New Orleans jazz. And your potential heirs can’t even complain about spending their inheritance because it’s FREE. (Although you’ll have to pay for accommodations, unless you live in a crypt or something.)

If you’ve learned nothing else from this blog – and you surely haven’t! – remember that it’s “Make a Will Month” at Rocket Lawyer. We’re not trying to spook you or anything – but you don’t want to be haunted that you left your loved ones uncared for.

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